MIL’s

Tis the season to be jolly, for the most part that is true, but those are the people who don’t have their crazy mother in law staying over.  I often wondered about the term “Mother In Law” and quickly realized while the tag line “in law” is necessary for ownership of creating havoc that is often over looked by the respectable word of mother.  By law she is a part of your life for the good, bad and the ugly.  For me it’s been the crazy, crazy bad and possible commitment to the insane asylum if I am around her too much.  You see, I don’t have your average honey bake Betty Crocker MIL….we are leaving the F of that acronym because that category does not apply and quite frankly it may cause a little throw up in my mouth.  You see my mother in law is crazy.  CRAZY.  Yes all caps, that’s right.  For the last several years I gave the her a chance, reached out to her like most daughter in laws do, hell I even brought her tea with crumpets on occasion….with two lumps of sugar…..well she thought it was sugar free but really it wasn’t.  Now in my case, not only did I have her but she had HER mother living with them and that was just bad news.  Even when I was introduced to the family first time around, I knew there was way more to this sweet appearing granny.  My guard was instantly up and I couldn’t tell you why.  You know how Snow white was unsure about taking the apple from the old bitty?  Yeah, um….I really can’t judge Snow White because I took the apple and bit into it to, although she was lucky she went to sleep and didn’t have to deal with the old woman and was awaken by true love’s kiss….okay back to reality, yeah I got true loves kiss and with a double portion of in law hell.  It was him that needed saving, so role verse; it was me that had to slay the dragon with two heads.  So strapping on my Mord Sith red leathers, it was go time for these ladies.  So… yeah sorry, had a moment of a day dream of Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom  where the top of the ark came off and they fell to the floor….okay so I am disturbed…but it’s really not entirely my fault!  Back to the point of all this, so I have the scrooge here and she is driving me crazy.  Trying to find that Christmas spirit is hard when the spirit is afraid to come into my house.  My reprieve….a bottle or two of wine….(white)…..word press, lifeline to Kitt…she knows the story and still remains by my side…..she would be my partner in crime in red leather too….Come to think of it Kitt we would rock that Leather ensemble like nobody’s business!  So case in point, I am actually looking forward to going to work and dealing with patients that eventually I will sedate…. but at least it will be mother in law free…. So I guess in the meantime I will be drunk, avoid apples, vent on Word press and look for  red leather outfits on line.  HO HO HO

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kitt Crescendo
    Dec 20, 2012 @ 05:27:10

    Girl…just make sure my red leather outfit comes with an agile. I figure if you can get her to use her hate magic, I can trap it and use it against her. Gosh, I love Terry Goodkind. And please, make sure my red leather zips up in front. It gets hot in Florida…plus, it’s an excuse to “accidentally” flash my boobs. 😉 That monster-in-law of yours deserves to be drawn and quartered. I’m actually surprised Aaron caved and let her around you and the kids considering how crappy she’s been over the years. What she did was unconscionable…and now she’s back to try to mooch off of you guys.

    Reply

  2. journeyman1977
    Dec 20, 2012 @ 10:10:29

    a double portion of in-law hell 😦 yikes. They sound like evil jinn. I’m sorry. I am rather judgmental when it comes to assholes. Hugs

    Reply

  3. Trackback: Gonna Make You Sweat… « theinnerwildkat

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