Know Thy Self

With the holidays coming to a close, it usually brings a time of self-assessment.  Most people have the usual New Year’s resolutions that typically don’t make it to the end of January.  I am one of those people that pick the traditional pseudo resolutions but I know my heart is not in it.  Yeah I will give it a good try, but that is just it….it’s just a try not a change.  While everyone has their own way, I am finding that for me I want to make a fundamental change. 

In my quest to be more than just a somebody, I want to be the best me I can be.  That starts with knowing yourself.  Life is a journey in which defines who you are, it tells the story of where you have been and predicts where you will end up.  Unfortunately there are some twists and turns that happen but during that time you learn something that you didn’t know about yourself prior to that event.  For me I know that I don’t want to be that person that is constantly going with the crowd.  I want to stop and make my own way which then will define who I know I am in my heart.  This fundamental change will most likely be painful to experience, and such change usually is.  If it where pleasant then it wouldn’t be called a change now would it.  There would be nothing to gain.  So my change I want to go with is learning who I am.  To go against the grain, to challenge myself and brace the impossibilities that I have limited my thinking to be. 

It’s funny, that what I got for Christmas was a beautiful art set with a portable easel that was from my parents and husband.  Do you know that I have a nice easel that sits in the garage that has never been used because I was afraid to try?  Now that I have been pulled back to my sketches, knowing in my heart that this is what brings me joy, I need to make that fundamental change of not being afraid.  With my skills being basic at best, I know that I have potential that is clawing to get out showing me what I really can do with enough guidance and practice.  Self-limiting ideas and people have influenced my decisions in life.  I mean who knows you better than your family or friends.  Not true, and I know this, I have always known this.   You know that sinking feeling when you have made the wrong decisions or that you know you’re going in the wrong direction.  I get that a lot.  I have learned to ignore that inner voice of reason and I have paid the price.   It’s funny to me that when I look around me, sub consciously I have filled my bookshelves with instructional drawing books, famous artists that I admire, and an art desk with tons of mediums to work with empty journals.  I had this for many years.  You would think by looking at my rooms that this is what I do for a living.  I guess it’s time to pay attention and embrace what I have known all along.  Getting back to know the pages of possibilities and to explore a work without limitations.  That is my challenge this year.  Know thy self.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. radaronelson
    Jan 07, 2013 @ 10:32:15

    Reply

  2. Kitt Crescendo
    Jan 08, 2013 @ 23:26:41

    Lady…You really do need to get back to the “you” that makes you happy. Obviously, like me, the signs have been there all along. Did I ever tell you that I kept the landscape/mountain drawing you made for me back when you were in Jr High? Yeah…I still have it. Reach out and grab your dreams!

    Reply

    • amadiex
      Jan 09, 2013 @ 21:04:36

      You really have something I drew? WOW!! you should scan that to me so I can see that!!! Wow that really is cool that you have that…..don’t know what to say other than thank you for kicking my butt when I need it:):):):)

      Reply

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