The Vibrator, More of a Cure than A Toy

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So I came home from work after one hellish night of patient’s deciding that they would be like Jack Nicholson in the movie, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” in which case I had the Haldol at the ready with an itchy trigger finger, my husband tells me, “I recorded something for you that I thought was interesting.” Okay, what he considers interesting is borderline disturbing. I was to tired to argue and while he took the kids to school, I jumped out of my work clothes and slip into something more comfortable. I grab something to eat and plopped myself down in my recliner and surf the channels for something to watch before I hit my pillow with vengeance. There I spy what my husband record, it was one of the Cinemax specials about sex. I roll my eyes, mumbling under my breath, ” It figures” and out of curiosity or fatigue not sure which, I push the play button. I was greeted by a naked women who’s’ boobs, that were mechanically enhanced, where bigger than her head, and she was going to educate me on sex toys. >Sigh< Great another informative session by Boobs with a tie- (I think they were going for a professional look.)

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As she spouted off how the dildo was used back in ancient times like Egypt and Greece – ( Greece I knew were crazy freaks) I found myself interested and amused especially when she pulled out objects that were used to conquer the tenacious sex drive! While the bouncing Boobs droned on about sex through the ages, I did (hate to admit it) learn something about the Victorian age.  According to Boobs, husbands would often visit the madams suites in the ally’s for more” dark adventures” in sex, while keeping their wives pure, (apparently they only were there for procreation and missionary style because that is acceptable sex) which led the wives to suffer from a strange illness called hysteria. Um, for the record, if I did not have my “extra activities” I would go into hysteria to.  Boob’s then went on to disclaim that the physician’s back in that time came up with a powerful cure, in which they made house visits were they would “massage” the nether regions and miraculously cure the house wives illness!  I think I choked on my drink at that point. While I am not sure how creditable Boobs was, I found it hard to believe the Victorian physicians played the part of  a classic male prostitute in the guise of curing hysteria.

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Where oh were did you get your MD doctor! So as the story goes, the physicians just had to many house calls to make and they were getting so tired and worn out ( I bet!) that they came up with the little tool called the vibrator. Now the first vibrator that one of these doctors used was built in the office and powered by coal. This was followed by a picture of these strong men shoveling coal into the furnace while the female upstairs was receiving treatment while voicing her encouragement is several high notes. ( Another way in which to use mother nature’s resource.) As time went on, improvements to the vibrator were made. In the 50’s area, the vibrator was sold incognito was a skin massager that left an after glow that lasted for days. (Funny, I bet their skin was flawless.) Even though the show lasted for about 20 mins, I was educated. While I see a lot of craziness on the floor, I am very glad that my job description does not included providing the cure to patients with hysteria, for that I will stick with Haldol and Ativan and have the doctor see ya in the morning.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: The Vibrator, More of a Cure than A Toy | The Closet Artist
  2. Kitt Crescendo
    May 20, 2013 @ 17:26:59

    Oh, my. Curing hysteria through masturbation. It’s a wonder more men didn’t become doctors.

    Reply

  3. Alice Johannes
    Jul 15, 2013 @ 01:08:52

    Apparently 92% of women masturbate regularly, with 60% of women masturbating 2 to 3 times a week!Bzzzzzzz 🙂

    Reply

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