Rule # 1

People are stupid.

Yes, there it is.  People are stupid.   In a great book called, Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind, it details the length at which people go through to avoid a glaring truth because it might bring their reality of things come crashing down.   For example, I was standing outside  among other parents waiting for the on coming rush of kids to flood through the doors of the school to what they deem potential freedom.  As I stood there I couldn’t help but over hear a conversation by a few moms about obamacare.  News flash, I am not a support of Obama or this fiasco called the Affordable Care Act.  For the most part I tolerate people’s views because I understand the fundamental freedom of speech.  I would rather have someone speak on things that I may or may not disagree with because that is the value of freedom.  I can choose not to listen. 

5508f28fe940629f3264f1ff3518689b

Back to the point, regardless of your view, the conversation went on about how healthcare is saved by Obama.  Blah blah blah, I have heard it all before and acknowledged that sentiment with a roll of the eyes and turned my attention to my phone that was far more interesting then the conversation of these women.  Then I heard it, and I couldn’t help but look up in disbelief.  One of the women clearly stated, “Yeah, now that Obama care is happening the money that they are taking from doctors and nurses will go to the people who need it.”  Wha What!?! First when did nurses get pulled into the same pay of Doctors!?!  I obviously didn’t get that memo and neither did my paycheck.  Second,   allow me to educate you since you obviously have been coddled to the point that your ass needs the extra insurance that I am suppose to give up.  You ninnies, do you UNDERSTAND what a nurse does?  While you sit on your ass and watch the latest rendition of the Kardashains wishing you might be hot enough that someone would sell a sex tape of you, I am cleaning up vomit, I have my hand on someone’s chest as I brake their bones doing compressions while blood is spewing out at me in attempts to save a life.  I am holding an unfortunate soul’s hand and watching them give up the fight and draw their last breath and having to turn to the family and tell them I am sorry.  I have the pleasure of cleaning shit of my shoes because the patient couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time because they have CDIFF.  Don’t know that  is? Then by all means come and shake my hand after I wipe their ass and pray to the gods that you don’t get it.  After all I am just an overpaid nurse that just sits at the nurses station waiting to be ordered around by the generously compensated physicians. 

60b61e6f48e91d774e5fbfbd9c0ba171

It was all I could do not to comment, because I have learned that you can’t argue and win with stupid people.  They just beat you with their experience.  The next comment was a just as ignorant and almost broke my concerted effort of keeping my mouth shut.  “…the money that they will save should go to the teachers because they deserve it.”  What the fuck!  Seriously?  No offense to teachers, you do a great job, but I bet you if you have to stick your hand up someone’s ass you would be screaming for higher pay and better insurance.  Well welcome to my fucking world!  Not only do I have to shove tubes of all sizes into orifices of a patient’s body, but  I do it with a smile and no tip.   Just then the bell cut through the air and the doors busted open with the laughter and screaming kids.  As parents found their child and started to head out, I watched as three women waddled their way to their oversize SUV’s, knowing with a smile that karma is a bitch.  You want health care for all at the expense of nursing, well my friend I will see you soon in my area, and I am sorry I couldn’t wash my hands from cleaning up the shit next door, you see the money is going to teachers now and there for we had to make some cuts with necessities such as paper towels and toilet paper.  I bet they have two ply for the teacher’s asses cause they deserve it,  so don’t complain at what your going to get.  NOTHING is FREE.  One to the next battle….the parking lot and crazy parent drivers.

0f849f10aa06ebd3f76450d3e00e4d06

Advertisements

The Magic Bean

So I was working my night shift in which I had people tied down in leathers followed by  several calls to security for other patients getting out of hand.  (while leathers may be fun in other instances, this apparently was not one of them.  All in a night’s work of being a nurse.) 

Nurse humor

Once things settled down and everyone was comfortably sedated, I was able to get some work done and joined the others in a conversation that did not involve me giving Dilaudid in some form.  I was asked what I was doing since, according to them I have lost weight.  I shrug and stated that I worked out and changed my diet.  Apparently that was not the popular answer.  “Really”  That’s all you do?”  I didn’t know there was more to the equation.  Soon, I heard all sorts of ways to loose weight and the single common factor was….”I take this pill….”   Now if anyone knows me, I get put off when people tell me that “I just take this pill…..”  First, there is no magic pill that will give you what you want without taking something from you.  Period.  None of that shit is regulated and you have NO idea what or how much is in the magic concoction that you are subjecting your body to without the guidance of a physician.  For example, herbals…..If a person is on a blood thinner because they had suffer a heart attack and then some Joe Blow tells them of this wonder magic potion that will cure all alignments like St Johns Wort, something WILL happen when you mix the two products.   St Johns Wart will actually make your blood thinner by itself so you can imagine what two blood thinners will do…..You wind up on my floor and I have to stick your sorry ass with Vitimin K shots or give you a transfusion of platelets.   My biggest pet peeve is Dr OZ.  Granted he may be a good physician when he is handling your case personally, my beef with  him is when he promotes such pills for weight loss to the general public and people who “typically” don’t do any research on what the medication is  blindly take the pills in hope for something better and really hurt themselves in the long run without the promised weight loss.  

Potential merit....

Often, and I see this a lot, people take this supplements usually are helping themselves to a bag of potato chips while sitting on the couch surfing the channels while expecting this tiny pill to call the fairy fat patrol to come and zap away their thunder thighs and badonkadonk ass.  My point is people don’t want to work for anything any more.  Those that do believe in hard work to advance are often looked down on because they are not apart of the trend of entitlement.   So I was surprised to see some of my fellow nurses fall into this category of blind faith while stuffing their face with McDonalds hoping that they won’t have to change anything about their lifestyle.   I know that for some those types of pills may give you a boost, but remember that boost goes only so far.  It is up to the consumer to know what the trade off will be.  FYI if you are a diabetic or suffer from a cardiac issue I HIGHLY CAUSION you about any pills without consulting your physician…..THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT.  For those of you who want to lose weight to be strong….my advice is simple and won’t cost ya a thing….Get up and move!  Yes it is hard, but the pay off is great mentally, physically, and spiritually……now where is my donut!

bahahahahahaha

In the Eye’s of A Nurse

After a long two back to back twelve hour shifts at the hospital I often find myself looking forward to the long walk of locating my car that is purposefully parked in the furthest parking lot.  This is a time of reflection for me as I enjoy the breaking of the sun over the horizon, the cool air on my face and the sound of my shoes softly hitting the pavement.  It is a time of reflection and peace that is not interrupted with the constant sound of my spectra link (cell phone) that I am forced to carry during work.  Here I am alone with my thoughts asking my self the same question.  “What do I want.”  I simple question that is often met with a layered answer.   Of course there is lots I want but would I truly be happy?  For me as I walk to my car, unlike most people who are in a hurry to get home, I take noticed of the small things.  For example, I noticed colors, shapes, textures and hidden designs.  It is where I find simple beauty.  It becomes my appreciation for being healthy and a live.

Circle of Vines

As I inhale deeply the cold and crisp air morning air, I realize that this my awakening.  My artist is wrestling to put my nurse persona away so my creative side can come out and soak up details that I may use later when sketching.   It is a life line really.  Being a nurse you see a lot of ugliness, sadness, and hostile patients that believe in entitlement to the exclusion of everything else.  The world is ugly. Yet, when I feel the constraints of my job something always happens.  I will cross paths with the one patient that reaches out and touches me.  I will see bravery of those who ask for nothing but are so grateful for a humane touch.  I see beauty in the aging with lines etched in their faces that tell of laughter and happiness.  I see hope, strength, courage flash through my minds eye as I remembered those that have touched me.  So perhaps while I struggle to become an artist, my training is just beginning.  Learning to see human nature at its ugliest and at its most beautiful.  I am in a unique position to portray the human spirit through a nurse’s eyes.  While it is easy for me to see beauty in nature, I am learning to see beauty in humanity.  Perhaps this is my walk in life….

elderly

It’s Been Too Long

It’s been too long since I have come and played.  I find it curious that when I start something that feeds the unquenchable desire to create and explore different mediums life hands me situations that take me away from what I need to do.  I finally am to the place where I need to breath, to exhale, and reconnect with old and new friends.  I need the support that I discovered here in the secret place of the wide and vast internet.   For those of you who do not know me, it has been very difficult for me in the last few years.  To recap, I recently lost a loved one to cancer.  It was sudden and so unexpected.  He was my father in law.  Now many people don’t really have good relationship with their in laws and I don’t, except for him.  He over time became my friend.  He supported me through nursing school and I worked on the floor where he admitted patients.  I miss the times we would sit and talk before going home to what I call an unhappy situation.  It seemed he was happier at work then home.  When he was diagnosed with cancer, I had found out I was pregnant.  The happiness I felt for the pregnancy was taken over by cancer.  As the months came, he was the patient on my floor.  I watched him slowly waste away, the man was still there but the body was shutting down.  I remember talking to him not knowing if he could hear me at times.  While this was going on his wife and her family became that of the classic story of Cinderella.  They were the wicked step mother and the three sisters.  Cinderella had it lucky in the sense that she only had to deal with four ugly people and to top it off she got her happy ending.  The family prevented us from seeing him and we would wait for my shift to end and see him late at night when they had left.  My husband would sit there hold his hand and tell him we were here.  My heart ached because he was alone.  In July my father in law passed away.  That is when it really got bad.  My mother in law and her family unleashed unthinkable acts towards us, in ways that in the dead of night they left the state and transferred the body to a different cemetery without a word to us.  Followed by a phone call that was place the next day asking us why we didn’t show up.   The next blow came when we found out that my father in law left us an inheritance so that his grandkids would be taken care off.  It was in a will that suspiciously disappeared.  When asked her family laughed and told us that they have the money and we would never see a penny of it.  Now some of you might say get a lawyer, but the problem comes we do not have the money and they knew it.  The next hit came when we were in the process of moving, our house fell to faulty pipes and exploded while we were away causing our home to be unlivable.  Yes we had insurance, but for those of you who know about dealing with them understand that they fight you for every dime.  We lost our home.  So we moved to a new place and prayed for a new beginning.  Yet the mother in law and her family were not done with us yet.  They gave cars to each other as well as vacations, while we scramble to make ends meet.  I look back at it and I knew I would be stronger for it, but it angered me to know that my children are going without while their children drove around in my father in laws Porsche.  And the saga continues.  

My point is, never had there been a need a drive to unleash my creativity to process all of this.  So when I was introduced to word press I was hoping to reach out to people and build friendships to encourage me to keep pursuing what I love.   A place where it was “safe”.  Granted I don’t know many of you, but we all have one thing in common.  The love to create.  To see beauty in the darkness.  To unleash and expose our dreams and to reach out and build one another up.   Lately the world has been drenched in ugliness and it is getting harder to see the fragile beauty that is still there.  I choose to look for it, I need to see it, and want to create it.  I want to show my children that no matter what life throws at you, you have a choice on how you react to it.  I want to demonstrate strength in that we can overcome anything.   So I come back to word press to explore and cultivate my art and writing.   It’s been too long and I need to feed my creativity.

%d bloggers like this: