Just a Doodle

Sometimes when things become crazy and you want time to slow down, that is when I pull out my small sketch pad and just start sketching mindlessly.  I never know or plan how these types of sketches turn out, but they are always unique in their design. IMG_20131210_142533The best part, is when my daughter pulls out her sketch pad and sits by me and we come up with ideas together.  I want to make her creative time a place where she can use as an outlet to express herself.

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The Magic Bean

So I was working my night shift in which I had people tied down in leathers followed by  several calls to security for other patients getting out of hand.  (while leathers may be fun in other instances, this apparently was not one of them.  All in a night’s work of being a nurse.) 

Nurse humor

Once things settled down and everyone was comfortably sedated, I was able to get some work done and joined the others in a conversation that did not involve me giving Dilaudid in some form.  I was asked what I was doing since, according to them I have lost weight.  I shrug and stated that I worked out and changed my diet.  Apparently that was not the popular answer.  “Really”  That’s all you do?”  I didn’t know there was more to the equation.  Soon, I heard all sorts of ways to loose weight and the single common factor was….”I take this pill….”   Now if anyone knows me, I get put off when people tell me that “I just take this pill…..”  First, there is no magic pill that will give you what you want without taking something from you.  Period.  None of that shit is regulated and you have NO idea what or how much is in the magic concoction that you are subjecting your body to without the guidance of a physician.  For example, herbals…..If a person is on a blood thinner because they had suffer a heart attack and then some Joe Blow tells them of this wonder magic potion that will cure all alignments like St Johns Wort, something WILL happen when you mix the two products.   St Johns Wart will actually make your blood thinner by itself so you can imagine what two blood thinners will do…..You wind up on my floor and I have to stick your sorry ass with Vitimin K shots or give you a transfusion of platelets.   My biggest pet peeve is Dr OZ.  Granted he may be a good physician when he is handling your case personally, my beef with  him is when he promotes such pills for weight loss to the general public and people who “typically” don’t do any research on what the medication is  blindly take the pills in hope for something better and really hurt themselves in the long run without the promised weight loss.  

Potential merit....

Often, and I see this a lot, people take this supplements usually are helping themselves to a bag of potato chips while sitting on the couch surfing the channels while expecting this tiny pill to call the fairy fat patrol to come and zap away their thunder thighs and badonkadonk ass.  My point is people don’t want to work for anything any more.  Those that do believe in hard work to advance are often looked down on because they are not apart of the trend of entitlement.   So I was surprised to see some of my fellow nurses fall into this category of blind faith while stuffing their face with McDonalds hoping that they won’t have to change anything about their lifestyle.   I know that for some those types of pills may give you a boost, but remember that boost goes only so far.  It is up to the consumer to know what the trade off will be.  FYI if you are a diabetic or suffer from a cardiac issue I HIGHLY CAUSION you about any pills without consulting your physician…..THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT.  For those of you who want to lose weight to be strong….my advice is simple and won’t cost ya a thing….Get up and move!  Yes it is hard, but the pay off is great mentally, physically, and spiritually……now where is my donut!

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Know Thy Self

With the holidays coming to a close, it usually brings a time of self-assessment.  Most people have the usual New Year’s resolutions that typically don’t make it to the end of January.  I am one of those people that pick the traditional pseudo resolutions but I know my heart is not in it.  Yeah I will give it a good try, but that is just it….it’s just a try not a change.  While everyone has their own way, I am finding that for me I want to make a fundamental change. 

In my quest to be more than just a somebody, I want to be the best me I can be.  That starts with knowing yourself.  Life is a journey in which defines who you are, it tells the story of where you have been and predicts where you will end up.  Unfortunately there are some twists and turns that happen but during that time you learn something that you didn’t know about yourself prior to that event.  For me I know that I don’t want to be that person that is constantly going with the crowd.  I want to stop and make my own way which then will define who I know I am in my heart.  This fundamental change will most likely be painful to experience, and such change usually is.  If it where pleasant then it wouldn’t be called a change now would it.  There would be nothing to gain.  So my change I want to go with is learning who I am.  To go against the grain, to challenge myself and brace the impossibilities that I have limited my thinking to be. 

It’s funny, that what I got for Christmas was a beautiful art set with a portable easel that was from my parents and husband.  Do you know that I have a nice easel that sits in the garage that has never been used because I was afraid to try?  Now that I have been pulled back to my sketches, knowing in my heart that this is what brings me joy, I need to make that fundamental change of not being afraid.  With my skills being basic at best, I know that I have potential that is clawing to get out showing me what I really can do with enough guidance and practice.  Self-limiting ideas and people have influenced my decisions in life.  I mean who knows you better than your family or friends.  Not true, and I know this, I have always known this.   You know that sinking feeling when you have made the wrong decisions or that you know you’re going in the wrong direction.  I get that a lot.  I have learned to ignore that inner voice of reason and I have paid the price.   It’s funny to me that when I look around me, sub consciously I have filled my bookshelves with instructional drawing books, famous artists that I admire, and an art desk with tons of mediums to work with empty journals.  I had this for many years.  You would think by looking at my rooms that this is what I do for a living.  I guess it’s time to pay attention and embrace what I have known all along.  Getting back to know the pages of possibilities and to explore a work without limitations.  That is my challenge this year.  Know thy self.

In The Process…

So I am having the itch to post one of my works that I am still in the process of finishing.  I had to put it off due to school obligations and now that I am free for the next few months my focus has shifted back to what I love to do the most.  In this piece I am creating a fairy more on the seductive side in waiting.  My goal is to have her being partial hidden with in her environment but leaving the possibility to being discovered.  I am hoping to play with some water colors to bring a new depth to her.  So far I am liking where I am taking her. 

LadyF

Fallen

Fallen

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Strength

Strength

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Flame

Flame

A quick sketch using color. One of the earlier sketches when I was just beginning.

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