Rule # 1

People are stupid.

Yes, there it is.  People are stupid.   In a great book called, Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind, it details the length at which people go through to avoid a glaring truth because it might bring their reality of things come crashing down.   For example, I was standing outside  among other parents waiting for the on coming rush of kids to flood through the doors of the school to what they deem potential freedom.  As I stood there I couldn’t help but over hear a conversation by a few moms about obamacare.  News flash, I am not a support of Obama or this fiasco called the Affordable Care Act.  For the most part I tolerate people’s views because I understand the fundamental freedom of speech.  I would rather have someone speak on things that I may or may not disagree with because that is the value of freedom.  I can choose not to listen. 

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Back to the point, regardless of your view, the conversation went on about how healthcare is saved by Obama.  Blah blah blah, I have heard it all before and acknowledged that sentiment with a roll of the eyes and turned my attention to my phone that was far more interesting then the conversation of these women.  Then I heard it, and I couldn’t help but look up in disbelief.  One of the women clearly stated, “Yeah, now that Obama care is happening the money that they are taking from doctors and nurses will go to the people who need it.”  Wha What!?! First when did nurses get pulled into the same pay of Doctors!?!  I obviously didn’t get that memo and neither did my paycheck.  Second,   allow me to educate you since you obviously have been coddled to the point that your ass needs the extra insurance that I am suppose to give up.  You ninnies, do you UNDERSTAND what a nurse does?  While you sit on your ass and watch the latest rendition of the Kardashains wishing you might be hot enough that someone would sell a sex tape of you, I am cleaning up vomit, I have my hand on someone’s chest as I brake their bones doing compressions while blood is spewing out at me in attempts to save a life.  I am holding an unfortunate soul’s hand and watching them give up the fight and draw their last breath and having to turn to the family and tell them I am sorry.  I have the pleasure of cleaning shit of my shoes because the patient couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time because they have CDIFF.  Don’t know that  is? Then by all means come and shake my hand after I wipe their ass and pray to the gods that you don’t get it.  After all I am just an overpaid nurse that just sits at the nurses station waiting to be ordered around by the generously compensated physicians. 

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It was all I could do not to comment, because I have learned that you can’t argue and win with stupid people.  They just beat you with their experience.  The next comment was a just as ignorant and almost broke my concerted effort of keeping my mouth shut.  “…the money that they will save should go to the teachers because they deserve it.”  What the fuck!  Seriously?  No offense to teachers, you do a great job, but I bet you if you have to stick your hand up someone’s ass you would be screaming for higher pay and better insurance.  Well welcome to my fucking world!  Not only do I have to shove tubes of all sizes into orifices of a patient’s body, but  I do it with a smile and no tip.   Just then the bell cut through the air and the doors busted open with the laughter and screaming kids.  As parents found their child and started to head out, I watched as three women waddled their way to their oversize SUV’s, knowing with a smile that karma is a bitch.  You want health care for all at the expense of nursing, well my friend I will see you soon in my area, and I am sorry I couldn’t wash my hands from cleaning up the shit next door, you see the money is going to teachers now and there for we had to make some cuts with necessities such as paper towels and toilet paper.  I bet they have two ply for the teacher’s asses cause they deserve it,  so don’t complain at what your going to get.  NOTHING is FREE.  One to the next battle….the parking lot and crazy parent drivers.

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The Magic Bean

So I was working my night shift in which I had people tied down in leathers followed by  several calls to security for other patients getting out of hand.  (while leathers may be fun in other instances, this apparently was not one of them.  All in a night’s work of being a nurse.) 

Nurse humor

Once things settled down and everyone was comfortably sedated, I was able to get some work done and joined the others in a conversation that did not involve me giving Dilaudid in some form.  I was asked what I was doing since, according to them I have lost weight.  I shrug and stated that I worked out and changed my diet.  Apparently that was not the popular answer.  “Really”  That’s all you do?”  I didn’t know there was more to the equation.  Soon, I heard all sorts of ways to loose weight and the single common factor was….”I take this pill….”   Now if anyone knows me, I get put off when people tell me that “I just take this pill…..”  First, there is no magic pill that will give you what you want without taking something from you.  Period.  None of that shit is regulated and you have NO idea what or how much is in the magic concoction that you are subjecting your body to without the guidance of a physician.  For example, herbals…..If a person is on a blood thinner because they had suffer a heart attack and then some Joe Blow tells them of this wonder magic potion that will cure all alignments like St Johns Wort, something WILL happen when you mix the two products.   St Johns Wart will actually make your blood thinner by itself so you can imagine what two blood thinners will do…..You wind up on my floor and I have to stick your sorry ass with Vitimin K shots or give you a transfusion of platelets.   My biggest pet peeve is Dr OZ.  Granted he may be a good physician when he is handling your case personally, my beef with  him is when he promotes such pills for weight loss to the general public and people who “typically” don’t do any research on what the medication is  blindly take the pills in hope for something better and really hurt themselves in the long run without the promised weight loss.  

Potential merit....

Often, and I see this a lot, people take this supplements usually are helping themselves to a bag of potato chips while sitting on the couch surfing the channels while expecting this tiny pill to call the fairy fat patrol to come and zap away their thunder thighs and badonkadonk ass.  My point is people don’t want to work for anything any more.  Those that do believe in hard work to advance are often looked down on because they are not apart of the trend of entitlement.   So I was surprised to see some of my fellow nurses fall into this category of blind faith while stuffing their face with McDonalds hoping that they won’t have to change anything about their lifestyle.   I know that for some those types of pills may give you a boost, but remember that boost goes only so far.  It is up to the consumer to know what the trade off will be.  FYI if you are a diabetic or suffer from a cardiac issue I HIGHLY CAUSION you about any pills without consulting your physician…..THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT.  For those of you who want to lose weight to be strong….my advice is simple and won’t cost ya a thing….Get up and move!  Yes it is hard, but the pay off is great mentally, physically, and spiritually……now where is my donut!

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In the Eye’s of A Nurse

After a long two back to back twelve hour shifts at the hospital I often find myself looking forward to the long walk of locating my car that is purposefully parked in the furthest parking lot.  This is a time of reflection for me as I enjoy the breaking of the sun over the horizon, the cool air on my face and the sound of my shoes softly hitting the pavement.  It is a time of reflection and peace that is not interrupted with the constant sound of my spectra link (cell phone) that I am forced to carry during work.  Here I am alone with my thoughts asking my self the same question.  “What do I want.”  I simple question that is often met with a layered answer.   Of course there is lots I want but would I truly be happy?  For me as I walk to my car, unlike most people who are in a hurry to get home, I take noticed of the small things.  For example, I noticed colors, shapes, textures and hidden designs.  It is where I find simple beauty.  It becomes my appreciation for being healthy and a live.

Circle of Vines

As I inhale deeply the cold and crisp air morning air, I realize that this my awakening.  My artist is wrestling to put my nurse persona away so my creative side can come out and soak up details that I may use later when sketching.   It is a life line really.  Being a nurse you see a lot of ugliness, sadness, and hostile patients that believe in entitlement to the exclusion of everything else.  The world is ugly. Yet, when I feel the constraints of my job something always happens.  I will cross paths with the one patient that reaches out and touches me.  I will see bravery of those who ask for nothing but are so grateful for a humane touch.  I see beauty in the aging with lines etched in their faces that tell of laughter and happiness.  I see hope, strength, courage flash through my minds eye as I remembered those that have touched me.  So perhaps while I struggle to become an artist, my training is just beginning.  Learning to see human nature at its ugliest and at its most beautiful.  I am in a unique position to portray the human spirit through a nurse’s eyes.  While it is easy for me to see beauty in nature, I am learning to see beauty in humanity.  Perhaps this is my walk in life….

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The Sand Dollar

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Sometimes we find ourselves fighting against the tide of life.  The more we struggle the further off course we become.  Everyone has their own path to follow and with that hidden and perhaps foreseeable obstacles arise to shake us from this incredible journey that we have been gifted to experience.  For me, I have had my share of life’s sucker punches.  Believing that I am exempted from life’s irony and hand of fate would not only be my demise but I really wouldn’t be living in reality.  The thing is, bad things happen.  That is it.  Most of the time there is no explanation to the why’s and how’s… it just happened.  Looking at more of my own experiences I can only learn and reapply the new lessons and try for a different result.   It’s like life’s rear view window, you can look back and see where you have been, but the main attention is looking in front of you.   With all the ugliness that has happened lately, it’s hard to see what lies ahead.  For me, it’s simple…keep it simple.   When I work at night on the floor at the hospital, I see some serious situations.  While things may go crazy, and on the floors they do, often there is a single moment where I am stopped and force to be alive due to whatever force is pulling me at that moment.  Sound weird?   Maybe.  It usually comes when I am being pulled in several directions, it is when I sense in my patient that need to be touch by the human spirit, call it kindness or just validation of their pain, I find I stop in the middle of the whirlwind of chaos and see the person that is restrained by sickness.  A single touch followed by three words, “I am here.”  is sometimes all that needs to be said.  I will never forget a patient of mine fighting against cancer and all I did was just simply sit on her bed and say those three little words, I knew I was where I was supposed to be because everything felt right.  I fit into this world somewhere.  She hugged me while she cried, and I just offered what I could.   In her battle against the tide of life she wasn’t alone.  Just like a sand dollar, white and beautiful in design but fragile by nature, we can find strength in numbers if we allow ourselves the opportunity.

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