Just a Doodle

Sometimes when things become crazy and you want time to slow down, that is when I pull out my small sketch pad and just start sketching mindlessly.  I never know or plan how these types of sketches turn out, but they are always unique in their design. IMG_20131210_142533The best part, is when my daughter pulls out her sketch pad and sits by me and we come up with ideas together.  I want to make her creative time a place where she can use as an outlet to express herself.

IMG_20131206_094603

Earth Fairy

So I ventured into something that I always wanted to play around with. Watercolors. I have always been intimidated by them, yet at the same time I have become bored with just the simple pencil. While I am self-taught, I understand that in order to become good at something you have to just do it. Of course with this being my first piece with watercolors I have learned a lot going through this process. So while facing my fears on the canvas I am gaining insight on how this works. I do know this, while creating I find true happiness and peace. It takes me to a place where there is possibilities without judgment.

EarthFairy

In the Eye’s of A Nurse

After a long two back to back twelve hour shifts at the hospital I often find myself looking forward to the long walk of locating my car that is purposefully parked in the furthest parking lot.  This is a time of reflection for me as I enjoy the breaking of the sun over the horizon, the cool air on my face and the sound of my shoes softly hitting the pavement.  It is a time of reflection and peace that is not interrupted with the constant sound of my spectra link (cell phone) that I am forced to carry during work.  Here I am alone with my thoughts asking my self the same question.  “What do I want.”  I simple question that is often met with a layered answer.   Of course there is lots I want but would I truly be happy?  For me as I walk to my car, unlike most people who are in a hurry to get home, I take noticed of the small things.  For example, I noticed colors, shapes, textures and hidden designs.  It is where I find simple beauty.  It becomes my appreciation for being healthy and a live.

Circle of Vines

As I inhale deeply the cold and crisp air morning air, I realize that this my awakening.  My artist is wrestling to put my nurse persona away so my creative side can come out and soak up details that I may use later when sketching.   It is a life line really.  Being a nurse you see a lot of ugliness, sadness, and hostile patients that believe in entitlement to the exclusion of everything else.  The world is ugly. Yet, when I feel the constraints of my job something always happens.  I will cross paths with the one patient that reaches out and touches me.  I will see bravery of those who ask for nothing but are so grateful for a humane touch.  I see beauty in the aging with lines etched in their faces that tell of laughter and happiness.  I see hope, strength, courage flash through my minds eye as I remembered those that have touched me.  So perhaps while I struggle to become an artist, my training is just beginning.  Learning to see human nature at its ugliest and at its most beautiful.  I am in a unique position to portray the human spirit through a nurse’s eyes.  While it is easy for me to see beauty in nature, I am learning to see beauty in humanity.  Perhaps this is my walk in life….

elderly

A Little Magic

Have you ever been lost in something such as writing, painting, or other hobbies that you forget about time itself.  In my moments late at night, I was simply enjoying the music pumping through my iPod while engaging the blank piece of paper.  I was free of real life worries or pending issues, it was just  my pencils and I.  The exploration of what can happen always excites me when layout the ground work for an imagine.  Finding a reference for poses is always quite the challenge due to the short list of people who would pose for me so I am left from studying forms from pictures.  It is how I study art.  I appreciate the dances of lines, the subtle touch of shading to bring out the form.  To me its like magic.  Learning to see angles from the positive and negative spaces takes time but allows me to see the simplicity of shapes that come together to form a more complex image.   To me its the dance of lines.  To be the one composing such a dance brings a satisfaction and self worth that I cannot describe.  Its like seeing something about yourself that is pure in away, that sparks something inside your soul that brings about a happiness and peace that can only be found when you accept something that is true about yourself.   When I draw its like a spiritual encounter, the inner voice quiets down and you begin to see in a perspective without judgement.  It is a world that most are uninvited until the finished product is revealed.  But what most don’t know is that it is a true labor of love, the experience of creating is where the magic happens.  The self voyage of discovery.   I stayed up until 2 am working on this one.  It is not finished by any means but I feel the need to post.  After all this little space (blog) is my digital sketch book.  

2013-01-23_16-23-09_288

 

 

 

The Sand Dollar

Shell

Sometimes we find ourselves fighting against the tide of life.  The more we struggle the further off course we become.  Everyone has their own path to follow and with that hidden and perhaps foreseeable obstacles arise to shake us from this incredible journey that we have been gifted to experience.  For me, I have had my share of life’s sucker punches.  Believing that I am exempted from life’s irony and hand of fate would not only be my demise but I really wouldn’t be living in reality.  The thing is, bad things happen.  That is it.  Most of the time there is no explanation to the why’s and how’s… it just happened.  Looking at more of my own experiences I can only learn and reapply the new lessons and try for a different result.   It’s like life’s rear view window, you can look back and see where you have been, but the main attention is looking in front of you.   With all the ugliness that has happened lately, it’s hard to see what lies ahead.  For me, it’s simple…keep it simple.   When I work at night on the floor at the hospital, I see some serious situations.  While things may go crazy, and on the floors they do, often there is a single moment where I am stopped and force to be alive due to whatever force is pulling me at that moment.  Sound weird?   Maybe.  It usually comes when I am being pulled in several directions, it is when I sense in my patient that need to be touch by the human spirit, call it kindness or just validation of their pain, I find I stop in the middle of the whirlwind of chaos and see the person that is restrained by sickness.  A single touch followed by three words, “I am here.”  is sometimes all that needs to be said.  I will never forget a patient of mine fighting against cancer and all I did was just simply sit on her bed and say those three little words, I knew I was where I was supposed to be because everything felt right.  I fit into this world somewhere.  She hugged me while she cried, and I just offered what I could.   In her battle against the tide of life she wasn’t alone.  Just like a sand dollar, white and beautiful in design but fragile by nature, we can find strength in numbers if we allow ourselves the opportunity.

Back of CD Cover

Back of CD Cover

My example for a cd cover I created.

Image

Front of CD Cover

Front of CD Cover

My example for a cd cover I created.

Image

%d bloggers like this: